Wednesday

Six.

Sitting at one of Koh Tao's trendiest beach bars, sipping cosmopolitans, enjoying conversations with people I've just met, I'd never felt more like Carrie Bradshaw in my life. Since when did my life become so glamorous?

Well, in reality, it's not quite as glamorous as it sounds. Yes I may live in a beautiful three storey house with two bathrooms, four bedrooms, a kitchen, flat screen tv, two balconies- one of which gives the most exquiste view of the island- and a group of the most amazing friends I have and will ever meet. Yes I may be a five minute walk from the beautiful sandy beach with sparkling clear sea. Yes I may be sipping cocktails courtesy of a bar tab having worked for just four hours but is my life really that great?

Okay. I lied. It is. It is until you fall, banging your head so hard you need to travel three hours by ferry to get to the nearest hospital so you can have a brain scan. It is until you've spent three days wearing the same clothes, unable to wash your hair as you cannot get your head wet. It is until you're no longer with the amazing friends you've met or your family and you find yourself completely alone other than the odd Thai nurse who comes in at regular intervals to check your temperature and your blood pressure.

And then you stop and think. Since when did it become okay to be so ungrateful? My entire life has been spent having everything I could have ever needed. Yes I may have wanted a bigger house, a nicer car, more holidays but I've never needed those things. I've always had the love and support from the most amazing family anyone could ask for. Sure there were times when things were a bit more difficult than I'd have liked but I've always had my family there for me, in particular my nan & grandad who were there even when I'd fallen out with my parents. I've always had a roof over my head. I've always had access to clean water and food. Even when I announced I'd be quitting my job and leaving England indefinitely, I had the support of my family and friends, even if they were worried or would have preferred for me not to go. Even since leaving England my family are just a call away. Granted, they can't be at the hospital with me but I know for certain if I rang my mum/dad/nan/grandad/aunty, even my brother, saying I needed them here then they'd be on the next flight out.

So I may not be in what I can only describe as the nicest house I will ever live in, I may not be with the people I live with or my family, but I know that they are all there for me no matter what. And for that I am grateful. I am grateful that I have had the amazing oppurtunities I have had. I am grateful for the oppurtunites I will have in the future. I am grateful that, compared to many, my life is pretty much exactly how I want it. I may be working for the equivilant of two pounds an hour but I live in paradise and I love the jobs I have. They may not be exciting and I may not love them all day every day but as a whole, I do. I may have had more arguements with the people I live with than anyone else in my life but I love them all a ridiculous amount, more than people I've known for years.

I am grateful. Even if I don't always know it.




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